My boyfriend has a nicer house, and says I should live with him. My mortgage is paid off. He believes I should pay half of his monthly costs. Is that fair?

Dear Quentin,

My partner has a home with a 30-year mortgage balance of $150,000 at a 4% interest rate. He has $275,000 in cash and a retirement account. He is retired.

My house is paid off. I have $50,000 in cash and a retirement account. I want to retire in a year or two.

We want to live together but could not agree on the “rent” to pay. He is not ready to live in my house because he has less equipment.

He believes that I should pay half of his monthly income for his nicer and more expensive house. He was able to pay off his debt and save $600 a month, but he liked having money.

I gave up that luxury and paid off my debt. I am now working on building my stock. I don’t think it’s fair that I’m paying half of my mortgage expenses.

I don’t know what repair and maintenance costs I should expect if I don’t have equity in my home. There are many views, none like them.

Here are the choices he made:

· I live in his house and therefore rent my house. Pay him half of what I got from that rent.

· Pay half of the cost of living and maintenance of his house while I live there.

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· Pay him what I currently pay to live in my home for taxes, insurance and utilities: $800/month.

What do you say, Moneyist?

Landlord & girlfriend

Dear host,

I’m sure your house is just as good. And just because he believes it, he doesn’t do it. If you don’t pay off your own home loan, I don’t believe you should pay an extra red cent to live in their home.

That is, you shouldn’t get out of that program and pay more, just because he (a) wants to live in his own home and b) help him pay his mortgage, or his taxes and maintenance.

You both made different choices: Yours is to have a free home and no mortgage, so you can spend that time building up your savings for retirement and/or rainy days.

You worked hard to pay off your debt, and you have $50,000 in savings, less than 20% of your partner’s savings. He has a $150,000 balance on his mortgage, and that’s his choice.

If his goal is to help pay off half of his debt, he can find a tenant to do it for him.

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You are not the answer to their long term financial plans, you are their partner in life. If his goal is to help pay off half of his debt, he can find a tenant to do it for him. What to do you expect you? Forget about their expectations.

In terms of how they approach this program, it seems like they want the equivalent of laundry and fabric softener — girlfriends and renters in one handy bottle to keep their budgets in check. pure and clean.

Bottom line: You shouldn’t compromise your egg-laying plans. The lady should not turn around. Only accept your plan if – with the help of your real estate agent – it helps you too.

In other words, the desired result for you is more important than the recommendations. He can save $600 a month! That is his business. It’s not yours. What do you want in your pocket every month?

Find out what you you want, and then go back to your goal. For example, if you can pay him $800 a month, pay $1,600 in rent for your house, and put $800 into your savings, then do it.

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You have come a long way. Don’t let these deals ruin it.

check out the Moneyist private Facebook group, which seeks answers to life’s toughest financial problems. Readers write to me with all kinds of problems. Ask your questions, tell me what you want to know more about, or weigh in on the latest Moneyist column.

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Also read:

I built a real estate portfolio of 23 units during our time together. How much should I give to my fiance in our estimation?

‘Our money will never expire’: How can we give $10,000 to our niece without offending the family?

‘I don’t like cheap’: Is it still acceptable to come to a friend’s house for dinner with a bottle of wine?

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